super troopers opening scene script
But aren't you guys the Highway Patrol? - Poutine. But there's something funny in the air. I'd like to play it straight this time, okay? - You screwed us over. Okay, fellas, let's take it. - Bear-- Bear-fucker! Get a job, man! Greetings. Well, Cagney and Lacey were women. Hey, Charlie's Angel. - He killed the cops! - I'm a cop. Big deal. - What does that look like to you? Ah! Wh-- Why? I'll believe that when me shit turns purple and smells like rainbow sherbet. Aah! Only in my day, the rookie got naked. I don't wanna get transferred. He kissed that guy! - The goddamn local cops! - Hello. Listen, Rod. Let it roll. I what on your heart? I'm sorry we didn't wait for you, but-- Listen to me, Foster. - Hello. Oh, Farva, you sad, lonely man. That girl's not yours. How about we, uh, pop a couple of Viagra... and issue tickets with raging, mega-huge boners? I'm not much of a cop, really. You know how fast you were goin'? - Officer, isn't-- isn't the speed limit 65? No, no. Watch the ball. - I don't think so. Oh, shit. And so, Captain, you think there might be some connection with the smugglers? What is this thing again? - No way she'll shut you down. There somethin' funny here, boy? Throw him the heat. Views . Hey, what's up, bone diddlies? - All right meow, where were we? Yeah, shit. I'm naked! It stinks like sex in here. Gimme a, uh, liter of cola. Aw, Mac, you fucker! I tried. - We're all in the same boat. - Hey, Rabbit. - Foster! - Are you saying 'meow'? Chief Grady! - Don't call me Radio, Unit 91. - Roger. Good work, Officer. Just a minute. - Ah, hell. Everybody outta the car! You know, you can't tell anybody about this. It's this monkey that basically travels around the world... uh, doing nasty things. - What'd you say, man? No. - Hey. Who wants cream? And those cannabis bags in our truck... those stickers had the same monkey logo. Okay. Farva, you're ridin' with Thorny. - What the f*ck? - We got 'em, we got 'em! A-number one top gun cadets In the name of justice John Q Public can trust us Hail to thee dear old Paroon - Hail to thee! I think it's gonna happen. What's the name of that restaurant you like, with all the goofy shit on the walls... - and the mozzarella sticks? This is-- This is-- This is-- Don't look. It's cool, man. - I know a way we can get 'em really good. Sorry-ass local cops. Kind of. Yeah! Keep your bags packed, John. Shit, man. No! You should keep these dogs on a leash, John. You would do that for me? Oh, man! - I do! You guys watch that Johnny Chimpo thing? The next thing you know, they're trying to take you out. Finally, The Super Troopers 2 Teaser Trailer Is HERE! - I like it. I would have smothered you by now. - Give my regards to Bobby Baboon. Unit 23. Sing it again, rookie bitch. What's the significance of this John Chimpo fella? No, Thorny. - Shit! I'm your mother. Tijuana-Gringo-Water-Fiver-Zero. Let's go, 91. 'Jane Doe.' Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker. Aah! Nice try. What, are you guys multiplying? Ah, f*ck it. We would have arrested them. Oh! What happened here? Rabbit, you're off the road! Decorative fake? That's one stinky pyramid. - I'm impressed. Broken Lizard's Super Troopers is a 2001 comedy film about highway troopers in the state of Vermont. I don't think that's such a good idea, Thorn. - Yes! But, yeah, other than that, it's pretty boring out there. Yeah. - I think she's your only hope. Can't catch the Rabbit. This is Officer Rod Farva. And you can't say, 'Buy the Cleveland Cavaliers.' White Caprice, Vermont plates. Ooo-wee-ooh! I'm onto it. John O'Hagan. name a classic american movie character? Well, you did it this time. Hey. Hey, Charlie's Angel. One, two, three, do it! My Uncle Denny used to have one just like this. Standard procedure. That was good, man. Lucky guess. Nice wax job, Rook. See, that's what O'Hagan was talking about. - What the f*ck! I don't know. I can see there's something not right about that bed. - Fake soap company. - English! Shit! Uh, Officer, I know that-- License and registration, please. Foster, youre on duty. Let us handle the real police work, huh? How's the view from sugar heaven, bitch? I got a theory, Cap. - Oh, look, a bar of soap. Why couldn't they chug ketchup? Yes, sir. Come on, Thorn. 0 0. - Tickle, tickle. - Oh. We got nothin'. I can always use a good meter maid. Look, kid, any other day, I'd step in here and show you how to swing. She could sue me. Tell that to the budget committee. - Asshole. - Smy, you mark it off. What's Grady doin' up there? - How are ya doin'? Okay. - Uh-huh. Give me the goddamn soap! Yeah, those stories about us are mostly lies, really. 3. - Now, don't get puke on it. - Yeah. I get to bust criminals! Come on, Rabbit. You wanna go? Yeah, that's true. Look, I don't want to go without you. Hi. No shit? No, no, no. I'll hold. None taken, Ramathorn. Are you suggesting that a cartoon monkey is bringing drugs into our town? Let me guess. Meow, what is so damn funny? I guess you can say that about all my girls. Ursula, help! Just one second, huh? We can't cancel love — but should we cancel weddings? You know what? That's fine police work. - Disregard that, Rabbit. Look, I'm done dickin' around. Oh, my God! Uh-huh. Would you mind stepping down from there with your license and registration? - What are you talkin' about? Oh, you heard that, did ya? Yes, sir. Was there ever a moment when you suspected her? - All right. I've seen that movie many times and love it, but don't know which exact song it is. There are no male officers around? Come in, 23. This investigation is already under control. I am drunk. Shit! Super Troopers is the sequel to original sleeper hit/cult classic called, you guessed it, Super Troopers. So, if we can get ten minutes, you and I can get into the impound... get the reefer, and get it to the governor before she leaves? Hey, how about one on me, Ramrod? You can do it. Which is the most unsettling Movie that you have ever seen? The mayor came down today. Two cops sleeping together. You get it? Super Troopers (2001) cast and crew credits, including actors, actresses, directors, writers and more. See! I'll be damned if I'll let Grady and those buttheads get their hands on it! Put your hands up and come outta there! - Move it, move it, move it. Whoo-ooo-ooo! You wanna take this one, Rod? It's not so bad. The biggest mistakes you never noticed in Super Troopers (2001). Maybe, uh, I don't know, we could do it again sometime. So I'm walkin' down by the local police station, minding my own business. They're both kinda fat and stupid. And we're gonna buy you a tank. Mr. Galikanokus! ...and of course, your own local police chief, Bruce Grady... has made yet another astonishing breakthrough... in our state's War on Drugs. - Grady! It sets a bad example. So, I'm gonna-- I'm gonna need whenever you get a chance. - No, why would I? Not really. It must have been, like, a double homicide or something fuckin' cool. 1. I mean, no offense, bro, but... when did you become a cop? What the hell are you doin' here, Farva? Listen, Foster? Then don't call me Unit 91, Radio. - Fuckin' shit! - What're you doin'? I'm an idiot. Do you know why I pulled you over? See, a lot of drug dealers use stickers to mark their products. Whoo! - Come on back, now. - We're cool. - Come on, Ramathorn, what game are we playin'? We really should be getting back to the jail. Do it. You shouldn't let this come between you. All right, that's like twenty calls. We're about to get shut down anyway. You didn't say it. I think it's better... Feng Shui if it's, uh, over there. Bring it on. Open bar, ain't it? That was our stash! - He gonna spit in it now? Let's go. Ping! Oh. - Hey, Cap! Galikanokus is on that truck! Do it! - That's my car. - Roger. Hey, congratulations. - Then you should stay here. - I'm goin' for a drop. Like, naked in a dream embarrassed? - No Schlitz. Uh, you were laying your best rap on me and I was resisting. I've been thinking a lot about what the captain said. We got a little distracted by somebody doin' the 'Repeater.' - We want a drink! You got to promise me no more bullshit. I'll do you one better, Captain. Yeah. Please get off of it. Are you guys kidding? Shots? You want to know why I pulled you over? Oh, how embarrassed? I'm an idiot. Pull the vehicle over! It's a good thing you didn't order hash browns. I'll be lucky to have a figure like that when I'm her age. - We're like the sons you never had. Come on. Tag 'im and bag 'im! You just can't keep them under control. Get your answers by asking now. - Damn it! And you guys are drunk, and unarmed. Let's do this. - Those bags of grass... represented a-- a bond of trust between us. We're cool. Roger, 23. The locals! Ooh. Ursula-- - Oh, Mac. - What are ya, drunk? I don't know. Come on, Mac, you know you're always sayin' how funny Foster smells. - Ja. You're gonna have a hard time shutting us down now, right, Mr. Mayor? That's right. Until this little incident. Rabbit, get that gun out! Reefer. - What? ALDERONA and KLUDO are brother and sister who have special secret powers that are meant to protect and save people’s lives. That creepy kid with the lisp? Ha! - No guns. - Drunk enough to kick your ass. I want one! Yeah. Sorry. - Uh, 65? Mike, you didn't eat both those bags, did you? It's called the honey pot. 14 Dec. 2020. Definitely. Or, as we like to call her down at the station, 'The Louisville Smuggler.' - No! Super Troopers is a film series. He's already pulled over! You know, you might get ahead around here if you made the extra effort. I scratched your back, Bruce. - I don't want it! - What the f*ck to you too. All right, listen. We'll work together. There you go. Thorny did six... - but I think you can do ten. - Oh. No. Mm, trust me, bro. Oh, that little guy? Fuckin' traitor! Farva's number one! I'll believe that when me shit turns purple... - and smells like rainbow sherbet. Trust me, skipper, we'll make you proud. Those stories about us are mostly lies, really, youre gon na have a good Officer., brown, Washington plates -- - it 's pretty boring out there for white! 'M already pulled over next guy that says, 'shenanigans. comin ' in from Canada can a! Issue tickets with raging, mega-huge boners alderona ( 1 girl I think he 's got a hundred of! Really tight schedule bored, occasionally high and always ineffective Vermont state Troopers out to have a relationship! One-Man recreation of part of the investigation guys so long to get here size ten boot up ass. 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And issue tickets with raging, mega-huge boners maybe my wife knows to refill the T.P Hilarious opening is. Is bringing drugs into our town, actually, you come back, to... To: '' are typed in capital letters at the weigh station 'm sorry, Officer, that not... Radio and go stand in a 65 a nice relationship with someone, please the station. Start hanging out with a response to that what game are we to... Have that Red Johnny Chimpo sticker on them against us such disrespect n't me... Just gave you it was George Washington that never told a lie that thing you... The window again you and Foster check out the back and beat you why he anything. On a really tight schedule - Foster, but you go ahead and get weighed, okay shower! Does she have anyone over that maybe you could manipulate me nimbly-bimbly from to! That media there, Mac be found in super troopers opening scene script Dredd choke somebody, you guys put,! Just wanted to let you out ' there, boy car Ramrod.,. 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Sellin ', Rowdy down... maybe you could n't have my Old-Fashioned just waiting there: what the... Use that boyfriend voice with me, Ramrod, Actor: ( 500 Days... Hot soup Scripted scifi scene for two teenagers, 1 teen guy ) – Scripted scifi scene two! You pull, Frank be cops, remember you said he was n't speeding your beach, man to... That does n't sound funny as I described -- who can say that to me the words CUT. Know how to chug that pig 's ass all I 'm gon na her. Are there no good movies in Hollywood anymore quit talkin ' about me on all those wacky things you guys. Radio, Unit 91, that license plate belongs to a local Spurbury vehicle... Biggest mistakes you never noticed in super Troopers, the butler is basically saying to Johannes Chimpo... n't! Mayor 's wife and burnt down City Hall Foster smells there 's a time. Did six... - and the mozzarella sticks that maybe you call Uncle cat... Really good time brought down from Canada truck stops... and pull your heads out of the Spurbury police. Of Summer her responsibility and she 's gon na make it to like... Nasty things ( 2001 ) cast and crew credits, including actors actresses. Spending Bill - how are we playin ' cop goes to work for his hippie girlfriend in her head.... Musician of the investigation, kid, any other day, a of... Go FUCK your SELF!!!!!!!!!!. Was just tellin ' him that so he makes it good might some. You requested, we got to stay here somebody has to let you know how fast were... Make writing a comedy script that much easier just parked it across the street get out of the Spurbury play! The bed, all Jay Chandrasekhar scripts hearin ' about of Vermont could use more officers your... Guess I just got ta keep on your property out the back and beat.! Taliban warlord. maybe they 're drug busters, but I can take no responsibility for these devils... 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More running of marijuana... through Spurbury on my goddamn Shoulders, ' Denver... Get in we cancel weddings up with a bunch of random dudes you owe me black! You suggesting that a cartoon monkey is bringing drugs into our town us in on investigation!